I am new to Facebook and have been rediscovering old friends from my childhood and high school days. Trying to summarize how I have spent the last 30 years since I last saw a certain group of friends, I rattled off things like going to college; studying Tibetan medicine in India & Nepal; living in a teepee on an organic farm; going to graduate school; studying Chinese Medicine in Maryland, New York, and England; practicing Chinese medicine in New York City; owning a dairy goat farm in North Carolina; selling antiques in Massachusetts; training to work with students with learning disabilities; and raising three kids (still working on that). A couple of friends commented on my “accomplishments” compared with their simpler, more consistent lives. I was immediately struck by the difference between “doing a lot of stuff” and real accomplishment. I may have “done a lot of stuff” in my life, but let me tell you some REAL accomplishments of seven people I know. I am not casting my net to include missionaries in third world countries, Olympic athletes, or other exceptional people. In fact, my point is, the ordinary IS the exceptional. These are a few real people from my real life; one of them might be you.
A mother who, every school year, prayerfully considers each of her many children, their personalities, their souls, their gifts and struggles, and diligently visits and interviews schools, teachers, staff, to find just the right school where each child will be nurtured and challenged in the ways that they need. While I am homeschooling, I think of this mother and how, though she chooses to enroll her children in school, she is mothering them every step of the way.
A woman who has had one husband and one job for 26 years. They have four children; two “came with the package” as she says, two they had together, and all four they have guided to a happy adulthood. When I think of my years spent flitting around the world pursuing various ephemeral somethings, she stands out as a model of stability and peacefulness.
A young man who has been searching for a job for two years. Not a week goes by that he does not pound the pavement, send out resumes, fill out applications online, check back at placed he’s applied. After two years of apparently fruitless searching, he has never become impatient or frustrated, and continues to say each day “God has a plan; I just have to trust in God and everything will work out.”
A woman on welfare who started long before Christmas each year, quietly setting aside a dollar here and there, seeking, finding, and tucking away special treasures for her children’s Christmas gifts, refusing to let poverty keep her from giving joy. An English teacher before her marriage, she trained to become a secretary, quietly supporting the office cleaning woman on her small salary. She also prepared and delivered a homemade holiday meal to an elderly couple each Christmas and Easter, delaying her own family meal till they enjoyed theirs.
A priest who was paralyzed on one side after a stroke. When his parish was closed, he broke down and wept, and retired as a pastor, but continues to serve Mass at other churches and do works of charity despite severe and incurable pain which he offers for others who are suffering.
A woman who, with her husband, carefully packed her family’s belongings and her young children for a move to South America, leaving behind home and friends. A year later, shortly after the earthquake, they again uprooted and moved their young family back to the U.S. This woman is remarkable to me because, in all the many homes she has lived in, it is she who is really “home” for her family, creating grace and peace wherever she is.
An elderly man who looks at his wife as if she was a new bride. He holds her hand whenever they are sitting together and uses terms of endearment whenever he speaks to her or about her. Though he can barely stand without tottering, he pulls out his wife’s chair at the table and remains standing until she is comfortable seated. He planted a flower garden outside her kitchen window so she would always have beauty to look at. At almost 90 years of age, he still tells his wife he is a lucky man to have her.
I might have done a lot of stuff in my life, but when I look at these examples, I think: maybe some day I will actually accomplish something.
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